omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I FOUND THE LEGS
A bitchslap is in order.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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