My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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