this beer tastes like vomit already
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
