You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
sex in a hospital.. check
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
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