my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
