its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
