i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
