very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize