Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
