just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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