so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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