Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
