Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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