My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
