She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
