There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
