Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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