Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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