wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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