i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
