I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
