Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
