So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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