Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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