WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
