Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
