As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
