Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
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Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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