It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
