Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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