i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
