Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
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