Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
