So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
