Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
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Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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