I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
