hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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