i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
