how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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