So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
