so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
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Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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