you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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