i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Even my vagina gasped.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
