....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
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