I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
