dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'm jealous of your bromance
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
its not stalking. its research.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
