New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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