she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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