Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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