My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
