pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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