Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
