you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'm really into asian looking animals
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
