Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
