it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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