Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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