Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
she peed on how many people?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
