Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
