I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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