i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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