I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
