So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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